Olivia and the Language of 1000 Faces

One thing that has amazed us as we watched Olivia grow and develop is the variety of expressions displayed on her little face. When she’s happy, her entire head radiates sunshine; when she’s upset, dark clouds roll into every wrinkle. Surprise, joy, curiosity, pain, tiredness, her face says it all.

What I find equally fascinating is watching grown-ups interact with her. Everyone’s seen the most mature, respectable people they know break out the most dorky faces and make the most bizarre noises and babble when they encounter a baby. I’m usually not the most expressive guy, but Olivia has me making stupid faces and noises with the best of them. The fun thing is getting reactions out of her and watching her face mimic your own expression.

“People’s emotions are rarely put into words; far more often they are expressed through other cues.” – Daniel Goleman

If you’ve ever been in a foreign country or have been forced to communicate to someone who speaks another language, you know that there’s a lot that can be communicated through expression and how something is said, rather than simply what is said. One of the big things I learned early on as a public speaker (and still need to often remind myself of) is that my facial expressions and tone are often communicating as much as my words are. When I would consider my posture and tell my eyebrows to get into the game, both my confidence and effectiveness went up a bunch. The secret is not to fake expression (people are good at seeing through that), but to let your emotion that’s on the inside show on your face.

Olivia is great at picking up our facial expressions as well. I’m convinced she can tell the difference between a forced smile and a genuine one. Working on non-verbal communication skills has never been so much fun…

My Ode to the Margin

Margins are the most under-estimated spaces on a page. I often find myself figuring out, my attempts to maximize each sheet of paper, exactly how close to the edge of a page my printer will print. I try to eliminate margins. Most all of us concern ourselves more with the content than the space around it.

In graphic design, the “white space” on the page is as important as the colored space. In public speaking, silent pauses can be more important for your audience than the things you say. Silent space forces you to think, to reflect. Margins give emphasis to the content that is there.

silent space

A few years ago I was without a car for a month, giving me the opportunity to take the 20 minute walk to and from work each day. This “margin” time gave me a chance to take a deep breath, enjoy some sunshine, and reflect on the day. This silent space became the favorite part of my day, and cut against my natural grain of packing as much activity into each day as possible.

A couple weeks ago my work responsibilities came to an end. That combined with the late arrival of our daughter, gave Anna and I three amazing unexpected days in the margin, in between two significant seasons of life to relax, connect, and gain some perspective.

Enjoy some time in the margins. Whether you have three minutes or three months to do it, enjoy the space, and don’t be afraid to “waste” some valuable paper real estate.

Thanks to Chris for introducing me the the “margin” as a metaphor for life.